I’ve added four short pieces to my portfolio, each between two and three pages long (I guess you’d call them skits or sketches). Feel free to check them out.
Also, part three of Boomer’s Day Off has been live now for about a week, but I’ve not been in a position to properly promote it. Here it is:
I wrote the first draft of Typecast back in 2007 when I had planned to produce it using Lionhead Studios’ game, The Movies. I recently re-discovered the script and thought that the concept still held up well, so I spent some time revising and updating it. This is it.
I’ll be adding more stuff to my portfolio in the next few days. This is probably the longest script you can expect to see on the site that doesn’t start with the words “Jump Leads” in the title.
This is my all time best lucky find that I ever found in the whole of today. Fantastic stuff.
Two ficlets this time, because the second follows on from the first.
But Wait, There’s More
“This is your task to undertake,” said Gerkyn the Wizard, “And yours alone. I bid you good luck.”
“Hang on,” said Dwylun. “I haven’t even said if I’m going yet.”
“But you must!”
“No. I’ve got things to do. Bugger off.”
Dwylun slammed the door in Gerkyn’s face. The Wizard couldn’t help but be annoyed. That was the 29th person today to turn down the Sacred Quest. Was there something he wasn’t doing? Something wrong with his pitch? Here he was, offering a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel across the Plains of Geruth, navigate the Woods of Labyr, and destroy the Cursed Daggers in the Fiery Pits of Mornda. You’d have thought there would be more takers.
Wearily, he moved on to the next house, and knocked on the heavy round wooden door. An elderly Wood Elf opened the door.
“Can I help you?”
“Hello there! My name is Gerkyn, and I’d like to take a moment to talk to you about this set of Cursed D—”
“Sod off!”
SLAM . He hadn’t even had a chance to unravel the demo set. It was going to be a very long day.
Journey Of The Sorcerer
“This is your task to undertake, and yours alone. I bid you good luck.”
Blande the Tree Elf rubbed his chin for a moment and seemed to stare out into space before looking back at the wizard. “Yeah, why not.”
“Wait, hang on,” said Gerkyn, completely taken aback. “You’re actually going to do the quest?”
“Yeah. I’ve been looking for an excuse to get out of the house. It’ll do me good.”
“Fantastic! Let me just get out the paperwork.”
“Although, it sounds dangerous,” Blande said, rubbing his chin again.
“Very,” agreed Gerkyn. “There are dragons in the Woods of Labyr that’ll drag you off by your d—”
“Very dangerous,” Blande repeated. “I’ll need magical aid.”
“Yes, I expect so,” said the wizard. He had an inkling of what direction this was heading in.
“Will you accompany me?”
Gerkyn sighed, and nodded. He was, of course, contractually obliged to go with anyone who bought into the quest. He had things he’d rather be doing, such as continuing to breathe in and out. Still, he if wanted to make the sale…
Commentary…
I love the concept behind this – a Gandalf-like figure who has to go door-to-door to sell epic quests. I liekd it enough to decide I wanted to use it as the basis for the NaNoWriMo novel I didn’t even start writing in November just gone. I’d love to tackle this subject matter again some day.
In Retrospect…
The first part is definitely a lot stronger, although it’s a touch on the strained side. Part two just feels forced, though. I had a lot I wanted to do – in both of these ficlets – and I guess the 1,024 character limit doesn’t lend itself well. I’m sure a more seasoned writer could do something really great with this concept with an equally limited canvas…
Part two, by the way, is most obviously named after the song of the same name by the Eagles, used as the theme to The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. I’d decided I wanted to write a ficlet with this title long before I decided to write a follow up to “But Wait, There’s More”.
I drew a picture for Dinosaurs Fucking Robots (warning: potentially NSFW) about a week or so ago and sent it their way. I don’t know whether they’re going to use it at all considering it’s more representative of the potential for robot-dinosaur relations rather than the actual act itself, but I’ve decided to share it here for those of you interested in… in that sort of thing.
Following the US release of the book last week, the first Jump Leads collection, Tales From The Flurry, is now available to buy from every international Amazon outlet except China (I guess the ecological message in “It Came From Space!” is just too real for them, or something).
Here are the links to Amazon’s product pages for the book:
You can also order the book from The Book Depository, who offer free international shipping.
We’ll eventually start selling copies of the book from the Jump Leads site once we’ve worked out how the bloody Hell PayPal’s internaional shipping calculator works.
It’s not a new meme, but it does seem to be doing the rounds again. You get the name of your band from the first article that pops up using Wikipedia’s Random article feature, the name of their first album from the last five or so words from the bottom quote that pops up on a random quotes list generated by the Quotations Pages, and the cover artwork from the third picture currently displayed on the Explore the Last 7 Days link on Flickr.
All in all, I think I got quite lucky.
It’s been a while since I last posted one of my old ficlets to my blog, so here’s one I wrote a little over a year ago.
Job Satisfaction
There was this lovely couple out on a date. Beautiful restaurant, nice live music. The meals were fantastic, we’re talking true works of art, here. The sauces, the smells, the flavors… I would’ve felt terrible if I’d chosen to do it then. So I waited.
They were in that place for what seemed like a small ice age, before they’d decided to move on to a late-night walk in the park. Nice open areas, very little lighting, and virtually no one else there save for a late-night jogger and some guy pullin’ his pants down at passing-by geese. That was where I chose to do it, and I chose to use the ol’-fashioned methods.
They were sat on a bench, just enjoying each other’s company. I still feel guilty about it, truth be told. But I did what I was paid to do – I pulled the trigger. I hit my mark. I packed my things, and I walked away.
In the corner of my eye, I could see the distraught look on his face, as he cradled his dying lover in his arms. I can still see him now. This job’s a real bitch. I shoulda been a Chef.
Commentary…
The idea of someone having such a “glamorous” job (albeit one as morally dubious as Assassin for Hire) that they absolutely can’t stand is something I’ve always enjoyed playing with. Hitmen are usually portrayed in stories as cold, heartless killing machines, and I wanted to imbue this guy with a little bit of soul. We all know someone who does their job not because they like it, but because it’s where their career path has led them to. I find myself wondering what led this guy to his current position.
In Retrospect…
Some of the punctuation on this piece is a little wobbly. I’d love to have gone into more detail about the events of the night itself, but there’s that 1,024 character limit. Maybe I’ll revisit this one day.