A Quick Recap Of My Day

I’ve had an interesting day so far. Here’s a recap for those of you not paying attention:

Helen: “Wake up, Ben!”

Me: “Alright, I’m awake.”

Agency: “Are you up?”

Me: “Yes.”

Agency: “Good. You’ve got a job. You start on Friday.”

Me: “Hooray!”

Agency: “Fill out this background check form.”

Me: “Definitely!”

Agency: “Oh, and the background check won’t be done by the time you’re supposed to start, so you don’t have the job after all.”

Me: “Bwa?”

Agency: “But I’ll put you forward for another, slightly higher-paying job, so fill out the forms anyway.”

Me: “Alright then.”

Agency Background Check Rep: “Thanks for the forms, we should get your background check finished today.”

Me: “Hang on, how come that’s not quick enough? Agency, what’s going on?”

Agency: “No idea. We’ll see what happens.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Agency: “Oh, the company have deleted the position.”

Me: “…”

This is the polar opposite of a bank error in my favour.