IM-MI-GRATE!!

There are two types of immigrants. There’s

• the Culture Vulture, who absolutely loves the culture of the country they’re living in and takes every opportunity to show off their expertise about said culture, and there’s
• the Perpetually Dissatisfied Homelander, who for some reason is able to find at least one thing that’s inferior about everything in the country they’ve chosen to move to in comparison to the stuff they left behind, begging the question of why they left in the first place.

Kotaku’s Brian Ashcraft is a prime example of a Culture Vulture; a Texan who moved to Japan some years ago and has made a career out of talking about how great Japan is.

By contrast, most Perpetually Dissatisfied Homelanders are usually elderly British men, traditionally actors or comedians such as John Cleese. It’s worrying, then, that I appear to be fulfilling this role as of late. I can’t walk into a supermarket without having a little moan to my girlfriend about how American Kit-Kats just don’t seem to be up to par, or how import stores seem reluctant to bring in British Rolos which are immeasurably superior in every possible way to their American counterparts.

Perhaps even more baffling is that since I arrived in the US I’ve actually watched British television almost exclusively, with the exception of 30 Rock and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (which I used to watch in the UK anyway, so it almost doesn’t count). I’ve kept up-to-date with Doctor Who and Torchwood, I’ve enjoyed new shows like The Inbetweeners, and I’m even revisiting old shows I haven’t seen in years like Goodnight Sweetheart.

It’s an absurdly negative way to look at a country that I chose to live in, to dismiss its culture and positive elements from almost the day I arrived. America has lots of fantastic things that Britain doesn’t have, such as Burger Kings that sell edible food. And Cheap buses. And more than seven theme parks boasting more than four types of roller coaster.

So I’ve decided that as of tomorrow (which is actually today, what with it being 1:15am as I type this) I shall endeavor to find more of the Good Things about being in America. Ideally I’d like to do this by driving across the country, America Unchained style, and exploring more of it, but sadly I haven’t got two dimes to rub together at the moment. Or rather two dimes to rub together is more or less all I have. The point is I don’t have a lot of money, and as there aren’t any pubs nearby in which to make a drunken bet in, it doesn’t seem likely to happen.

Nevertheless, positivity here I come and all that.