The Beatles: Bigger Than Chuck Norris

Tonight has been spent alternating between early planning for an animation pitch (one that has me very excited and more energized than anything else I’ve worked on over the past two years) and jumping onto Twitter to join Peter Serafinowicz and Graham Lineham in their #beatlesfacts meme. I actually have no idea if they started it, but the certainly brought it to my attention and I’ve enjoyed participating. Here’s a few I posted…

  • Ironically, John Lennon was born without an imagination. 
  • Ringo Starr was struck by lightning during the Beatles’ first tour of the US, temporarily leaving him able to play the drums. 
  • Neither John Lennon nor George Harrison are actually dead. Paul, however, is. 
  • Liverpool didn’t exist until 1942. McCartney was born in a meadow, and the city erupted out of the ground around him.
  • All four of the Beatles were allergic to Arsenic, and would refuse to eat any meal that included it as an ingredient. 
  • Yoko Ono is actually Bono in a wig. 
  • The Beatles were fully trained hyponotists, often hypnotizing whole stadiums at the start of a show then napping for 2 hours. 

And here’s some of my favourites from others:

  • President Obama owns the only egg ever to be laid by a Beatle (Ringo). – Serafinowicz
  • Of all their many lineups, most agree the definitive one was John, Paul, Vince, Salbatoré and Prototype-Ringo. – Serafinowicz
  • Paul had a malformed Siamese twin growing out of his chest who occasionally displayed telepathic powers. – pamberjack
  • None of the Beatles was actually ever a Sargeant. – johnrshanley
  • The Beatles originally wanted to call themselves The Coleopteras, but couldn’t figure out how to misspell it. – loki5
  • The character of Mean Mr. Mustard later pursued a successful military career, albeit one blighted by accusations of murder. – stephen_normal
  • When startled, Ringo Starr can inflate to over 6 times his normal size to deter predators. The dark glasses are precautionary. – bookemdanno
  • Ringo stands to collect a huge payout from Corals if he can just get Paul to eat meat. – jonrshanley
  •  In a mathematical anomaly which has baffled academics for years, the square root of Beatles = Beatles. – stephen_normal
  • “The Beatles Kama Sutra” was withdrawn from bookshops after a woman was killed during a Reverse Flying Ringo. – blearyboy

This is far too much fun. The best ones need to be collected on a Chuck Norris Facts style website. Brilliant.

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